I love people who complain that The Force Awakens is "fan service." That's like going to IHOP and complaining when they give you pancakes.

— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) January 7, 2016

Me while watching every period piece: "not a great time to be a woman."

— Tessa Violet (@meekakitty) January 13, 2016

If we only like people who are like us, it's not even them we like. It's ourselves. It's just narcissism in a social mood. And it's boring.

— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) January 13, 2016

Wouldn't a pure-bread dog just get eaten by ducks when you took it to the park

— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) January 14, 2016

[burglar gently waking me] you live like this?

— nice eric (@ericsshadow) January 15, 2016

Me: I'll take a small fry.@Five_Guys: Our entire supply?
Me: What
FG: You want all the fries?
Me: No
FG: Forklift will bring you your order

— Josh Taylor (@dearfuturejosh) January 15, 2016

IDGAF

I don't give away food

— Benj Lucky (@benjluckhaupt) January 16, 2016

Cookies are just cookie dough that someone ruined

— elan gale (@theyearofelan) January 18, 2016