There is no betrayal like a spouse asking you to get up & do something once you’re in bed.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) January 26, 2016
How'd Jesus' react to disciples who wanted to burn a village? How do ya think He'd respond to "I'll bomb the $&!? out of them!"
— Daniel Edwards (@Pastor_Daniel) January 26, 2016
"I'm in love with you, okay?" Anthem shouts. "I love everything about you. I love you, girl who is reading this book! I mean… Val."
— Dystopian YA Novel (@DystopianYA) January 26, 2016
[during lull in conversation] maybe people who say the earth is flat are thinking of maps
— Maven of Honor (@MavenofHonor) January 26, 2016
I used to be a "read the novel before you see the movie" person, but now I'm a "less obnoxious" person.
— Gwen (@msgwenl) January 27, 2016
NASA GUY: why do u think u should be on the trip to the moon
BUZZ ALDRIN: my name is buzz aldrin
NASA GUY: oh wow thats super spacey. ur in
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) January 28, 2016
Of course Threepio lost an arm at some point.
He’s a Skywalker.
— Dunc (@clubjade) January 30, 2016
Wow guys JK Rowling just said that the houses were all fake and there's only one real house: Nerd House. And you're all in it.
— PAWG HNTR (@JokeLvr) January 31, 2016
This is the last thing I want to do, Facebook. pic.twitter.com/C8OLvXHQIM
— Elizabeth Hyndman (@edhyndman) February 2, 2016
Are you on twitter? Follow me @keenertaylor!