How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them? Like, did you ask him? Because only one of us is screaming right now.
— Sarah (@thetigersez) August 22, 2015
it's not really a 'private' school if u tell people u go there
— Mr. Peel (@Rlpihl) March 28, 2015
DYING SOLDIER: tell.. tell ur wife.. u love her
ME: dont u mean–
DYING SOLDIER: no.. i never found love. but u did.
ME: can i tweet this
— jomny sun (@jonnysun) March 5, 2016
SNICKERS COMMERCIAL: You're not you when you're hungry
ME: [always hungry] ..who am I
— Frigged up Shark (@AbrasiveGhost) December 1, 2015
me: I can't write this scene
brain: did you try eating
me: yeah that didn't help
brain: did you try eating a different food
— Lauren 🎃🍁🍂🕸🕷👻 (@LaurenDeStefano) March 13, 2016
One of my biggest weaknesses is forgetting that I made hot tea.
— Vanessa Ramos (@thatRamosgirl) March 9, 2016
I hope we finally find out WHY he's Spider-Man. What turned him into Spider-Man? What compelled to fight crime? What's his family life like?
— Anthony Carboni (@acarboni) March 11, 2016
I won't rest until I find a cure for insomnia.
— Elle Oh Hell (@ElleOhHell) March 12, 2016
The crazy things that other people believe are conspiracy theories. The crazy things that you believe are just the truth.
— Morgan Grainger (@morgangrainger) March 12, 2016
don't forget to let your phones & digital clocks automatically set themselves ahead an hour tonight
— fro vo (@fro_vo) March 13, 2016
don't think of it as losing an hour think of it as gaining exhaustion
— Tim Federle (@TimFederle) March 13, 2016