I confess that I regularly struggle with doubts. I confess that I often fall into despair about the state of the world (and the church). I confess that this Easter I’m not feeling spiritual or celebratory in any way.
Because of this, when I read the resurrection story today, I was most interested in Mary Magdalene’s experience. Here’s a quick summary:
After Mary’s rollercoaster morning of discovering the tomb is empty and delivering the good news of Jesus’ resurrection to the disciples, their doubt has rubbed off on her and she’s sitting by the tomb weeping in despair. Even the fact that there were angels inside the tomb couldn’t convince her that everything was okay, because she tells them “they’ve taken my Lord!” Since she’s in such a state of doubt & despair, she mistakes Jesus for the gardener. Why? I think it’s because when darkness clouds our minds, we don’t always see the good things that are right in front of us. But he reveals himself to her and reassures her that He is Risen.
Jesus literally showed up for Mary in her moment of doubt & despair and reassured her. I love that! Because I am a doubter, and I am a despairer, and I admit that I need to be reassured often that there really is hope.
Here’s hoping that I’ll recognize the good things in front of me and not mistake Christ for the gardener.