Sometimes, real late at night, I'll think to myself, "What? It's only 9:30?"

— Matt Goldich (@MattGoldich) April 26, 2016

Life in "The Hunger Games" seems oppressive but I'd prefer it to a world where there was always a presidential campaign happening.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) April 26, 2016

One time I saw a video of a guy holding up a sign that said "I love you Stevie" at a Stevie Wonder concert. I think about this a lot.

— ♡ brian essbe ♡ (@SortaBad) April 26, 2016

when you blow a kiss to a friend and they take it too far https://t.co/TTIi2iOXIu

— Adler Davidson (@adlerdavidson) April 26, 2016

"I'll be brief"…
5 minutes later…
"Oh now let me tell you a story."
🙃

— Kirby Darden (@kirby_darden) April 27, 2016

Tough news to wake up to. pic.twitter.com/nPEod7RZ8k

— Jason Gay (@jasongay) April 27, 2016

Sad to see so many Christians making sure the world knows everything they’re against… so much for “they will know us by our love.”

— Jeff Martin (@ThisJeffMartin) April 27, 2016

I don't even care who the president is anymore. I just really want everyone to shut up

— elan gale (@theyearofelan) April 27, 2016

"This is This American Life. Each week we choose a theme, bring you one story on that theme, and two stories vaguely related to that theme"

— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) April 28, 2016

You guys make me happy and I hope this drawing makes you guys happy as well! 💕 pic.twitter.com/b6muoLj3t2

— Susan 🎨 (@sansanray) April 29, 2016

Good morning.
You are perfectly cast in your life. I can't imagine anyone but you in the role. Go play.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) April 29, 2016

"THIS!!!! TOO!!!! SHALL!!!! PASS!!!!!!" – gandalf, comforting frodo

— jomny sun (@jonnysun) April 29, 2016

Not crazy about this new hand sani pic.twitter.com/I8bDX6AY1a

— Mave (@MavenofHonor) April 30, 2016

Be the Eliza Hamilton you wish to see in the world.

— Jessamyn Leigh (@gingernifty) May 1, 2016

*Opens soda can*
Don't "psh" me.

— Michael Erhart (@Michael_Erhart) May 1, 2016

Me: Pringles aren't going to fix it. It's a deeper pain that can only be filled with
Brain: PEANUT BUTTER

— Yael (@elle91) May 1, 2016