*boss stops meeting*
Mike, is there something you'ld like to share with the whole group?
Me: Nooooo, that's why I whispered it to Alan.
— Agent Average (@Roweboat13G) November 15, 2013
https://twitter.com/Nahdude83/status/437494112682397696
A tree silently weeping as firemen steal its cat. Again!
— Piece (@Piecezilla) April 24, 2015
[Playing Mario Kart]
Her: Wow, you won. It's like you've been practicing
Me: Haha that's funny
[Dog & I exchange glances]— Gαbby Durαn (@GABBYdaAngSaya) August 24, 2015
"i love u"
"i love u"
"i love u"
"i love u"
"i love u"
"i love u"
– dog at a party, walking up to different strangers— Timmy™ (@TheTimmyToes) January 9, 2016
"I hope you feel at home, 'cause you just got schooled!"
-A fun exclamation to make when you win against a homeschooler.
— Church Guy (@MrChurchGuy) May 31, 2016
"I never had a group of friends before. I promise that I’ll make y’all proud." #hamilton @Lin_Manuel #Disney pic.twitter.com/CS8b6fs3q8
— DisneyDiary (@DisneyDiary) June 1, 2016
I can't believe so many people are getting so upset about one dead gorilla when snow cone places have been serving tiger's blood for years!
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 1, 2016
If you don't sing along to the Law and Order theme song then who even are you.
— Tessa Violet (@meekakitty) June 1, 2016
CHIEN PO: im never gona catch my breath
YAO: say goodbye to those who knew me
LING: boy was i fool in school for cutting jim
JIM: ya. u were— jomny sun (@jonnysun) June 1, 2016
whenever I get bad service at a restaurant, I look at the server very sternly and ask, "have you ever heard of the show, Undercover Boss?"
— Adler Davidson (@adlerdavidson) June 2, 2016
It took me a not-insignificant amount of time to realize he meant "autumn," not "our society's collective undoing." pic.twitter.com/wFisLb1OzT
— Carmen Maria Machado (@carmenmmachado) June 2, 2016
*picks up jar of smuckers*
O THIS IS MY JAM
*gets stuck in trafic*
O THIS IS MY JAM
*points to frame of my front door*
o this is my jamb— jomny sun (@jonnysun) June 4, 2016
I don't get it when you compliment a dog and their owner says "thank you", like mate, I'm addressing the dog don't make this about you
— Ruby (@rubyetc) June 4, 2016
I don't want to brag, but I have no idea what I am doing.
— Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnson) June 5, 2016
I wonder what's going to kill me first, skin cancer from the times I forget to use sunscreen or the chemicals from the sunscreen.
— Yael (@elle91) June 6, 2016
Ur flaws r not flaws Ex. Today my poor vision convinced me a log on the beach was a dog. That's no flaw. That is dog vision & it's beautiful
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) June 6, 2016
Someone is coming to clean the house today, and my first thought is man I need clean before they get here or they'll think I'm gross…
— Jordan Maron (@CaptainSparklez) June 6, 2016
By getting paid a ton of money pic.twitter.com/qf4dEseSuX
— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) June 7, 2016
haha I like the Donald Trump one….
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Best post ever! I literally laughed out loud, and I hardly do that anymore when I read funny things on the internet. Thanks for these posts Kelli! They really brighten my day!!!
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haha. . .yeah I think getting over stage fright by being paid money is very helpful indeed. haha.
A lot of cute dog ones in this round. 🙂
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Yeah one account I follow retweeted a ton of dog jokes one day and I couldn’t resist including some of them 😛
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