I am too tired to write a clever intro, so I’ll cut to the chase. I asked on twitter what I should blog about today and here are the results:
The other subjects will surely become future 3 Things Thursday posts. But today you asked to hear about my regrets, so here they are:
When I was fifteen, I quit the swim team. My coach said, “I think you’re going to regret that one day, but I can’t stop you.” And I walked out thinking, “I don’t care if I regret it — I’m so done with swimming right now.” He was right. And I was right. I wish I hadn’t quit because I miss the outlet, I miss the people, I miss how strong I was, but it turns out I wouldn’t’ve been able to keep it up for much longer, anyway. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease a few months later (that explains why I was struggling during practices so much and why my energy was so low overall), and there’s some evidence that chlorine is bad for autoimmune diseases.. so I probably would’ve had to quit anyway. Who knows. Either way, I wish I’d stuck around and tried to make it work.
A Vegan Diet
I went on a vegan diet for a couple months in high school on the recommendation of my nutritionist, and it was really hard. I was the only one in my family following the diet, and I wasn’t very informed about food and nutrition so I was never able to gain a sense of control over the experience. It was happening TO me, instead of being a choice I had made and understood. I was supposed to stay on it for longer than that, but I kinda just stopped doing it because I got tired of it. I’m not saying that I would still be vegan if I hadn’t gotten lazy, or that I want to try going vegan now, but I do wish that I had been disciplined enough to stick with the program until my nutritionist gave me the ok to move on. Then it would’ve been an intentional, informed, and healthy choice.. instead of an in-the-moment, emotional one.
Side note: I’ve always struggled with an emotional attachment to food – it’s something I’m constantly fighting. The thing I try to remember now is that choosing healing foods is a form of loving myself. Thinking about it this way is actually incredibly helpful! I am being a good steward by giving myself and my body the best opportunity it has to thrive.
It might surprise you to learn that I don’t regret quitting college in my sophomore year – I had no idea what I wanted to do, I wasn’t thriving socially, and my health was taking quite a toll, so leaving was definitely the right choice for me. But I do regret not finding another avenue to take art classes. My Ceramics, Photography, and Mixed Media classes were the best things that happened for me in that year and a half. I’d planned to find public classes once my health was back on track, but I just… didn’t get around to it. Anyone in Nashville know of places that offer this kind of thing?