I was listening to a podcast the other day in which one of the hosts said something that stuck with me: “Sitting in my room and blocking out the world for days feels like self-care in the moment, but I’ve learned that it’s not actually good for me.” Hello, that’s me!
I think that self-care is really important, but I’m learning that it has to be proactive.. otherwise you’re just wallowing. I certainly don’t think it’s wrong to rest and give yourself some alone time.. that’s really important! But it’s also important to make yourself do things you may not want to in the moment. Reach out to friends. Exercise. Drink lots of water. Leave your house. Don’t eat junk food even if you feel like you deserve it and you think it will make you feel better (you know it won’t).
I’m preaching to myself right now, by the way. Lying in bed and watching 6 episodes of Murder, She Wrote in one day feels like I’m resting, and therefore tending to my needs… but I’m really not. That’s not good mental hygiene. It’s okay to watch TV and veg out sometimes, but when that’s my default? I guess I’m just realizing that I haven’t been doing myself any favors.
Sometimes taking care of myself is harder than others.. sometimes I can’t muster up enough energy to even care that I’m not taking good care of myself. That’s kinda where I’ve been lately. I feel like I’ve been in a fog that I’m just starting to come out of. I feel like I could easily slip back into the fog, but today at least, I can see the sun. Today, at least, I’m taking care of myself.. and I’m hoping that by acknowledging it and recognizing the ways in which I feel good today will help me continue down the path that leads out of the fog.