When Self-Care Isn’t

I was listening to a podcast the other day in which one of the hosts said something that stuck with me: “Sitting in my room and blocking out the world for days feels like self-care in the moment, but I’ve learned that it’s not actually good for me.” Hello, that’s me!

I think that self-care is really important, but I’m learning that it has to be proactive.. otherwise you’re just wallowing. I certainly don’t think it’s wrong to rest and give yourself some alone time.. that’s really important! But it’s also important to make yourself do things you may not want to in the moment. Reach out to friends. Exercise. Drink lots of water. Leave your house. Don’t eat junk food even if you feel like you deserve it and you think it will make you feel better (you know it won’t).

I’m preaching to myself right now, by the way. Lying in bed and watching 6 episodes of Murder, She Wrote in one day feels like I’m resting, and therefore tending to my needs… but I’m really not. That’s not good mental hygiene. It’s okay to watch TV and veg out sometimes, but when that’s my default? I guess I’m just realizing that I haven’t been doing myself any favors.

Sometimes taking care of myself is harder than others.. sometimes I can’t muster up enough energy to even care that I’m not taking good care of myself. That’s kinda where I’ve been lately. I feel like I’ve been in a fog that I’m just starting to come out of. I feel like I could easily slip back into the fog, but today at least, I can see the sun. Today, at least, I’m taking care of myself.. and I’m hoping that by acknowledging it and recognizing the ways in which I feel good today will help me continue down the path that leads out of the fog.

7 thoughts on “When Self-Care Isn’t

  1. I really like this post. Self-care isn’t just about treating yourself for a day to whatever you want. Like you said, it should be proactive. Self-care is about taking action to improve your state of being, and the things you mentioned like drinking water and leaving the house are things that are perfect but that people don’t always consider self-care, simply because they’re hard to do when you’re feeling down. I’m rambling myself. Awesome post!!! 🙂 🙂


  2. Good thoughts, Kelli. When tired or sick, we are so apt to take the easiest path of resistance, or the ‘default’, as you say. I struggle with the amount of computer time and sugary snacks I have after work. I never can be productive if I don’t take care of other business first. Self care rarely is whatever provides instant satisfaction.


  3. What do you mean? Watching 6 episodes of a show is AWESOME!!!

    Okay, jokes aside, that IS quite bad xDD I can’t take myself seriously. It’s hard for me to ‘hang out with friends’ because all my friends are online friends.


  4. I love murder she wrote!

    This is very important. I forget this sometimes. I’m super introverted, and I tend to spend as much time as I can reading or watching tv shows and drinking tea. But just being comfortable and in my safe zone all the time is not a good way to live. That doesn’t provide opportunity for growth or learning.

    Especially during the summer when basically all I have to do is work! Great blog post!


  5. Pingback: More Self-Care Thoughts: 3 Tiny Ways to Take Care When You Don’t Have the Energy – currentlykelli

  6. I think self care is important as well. . . though I don’t do the exercise part enough yet, but I have been eating healthier. Today I got such a craving to eat cookies and instead made myself some rice (I put some sriracha sauce in it and a fried egg on top).


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