Early Evenings

Can I be real with y’all for a second? Lately, I feel worn out and worn down; swinging between sad and apathetic. As much as I love the Fall, this year I can feel that the early evenings are having a stronger effect on me than they have in years past. Have any of you had good experiences with those SAD lamps? Everything I’ve read is that they’re really helpful for seasonal depression, but I am skeptical that it would work for me. Like, I believe other people when they say it helps them, but.. I don’t know.

Then again, it might not be related to the sun at all. I felt this way a lot during the summer, too.

On a similar note: I’m disappointed that I went through all the stress of getting that initial doctor’s appointment, only to have to wait three months before I can go see the specialist. It feels like I’m wasting time, letting things get worse.. I’ve been wasting time out of fear for so long (and it was so emotionally difficult for me to even make the first steps) that it feels so frustrating to be stagnant again when I can’t do anything about it. I mean.. I can focus on being as healthy as I possibly can be.. but my body is not “normal” – I can affect my health by creating good habits that give my body a better chance of thriving, but I can’t control it in the way that healthy people can. Normal healthy-person rules don’t apply to me. And even when I find things that do seem to work, eventually they don’t anymore. It feels like a constant guessing game. It’s annoying!

Alright, that’s enough whining. See y’all tomorrow – hopefully things will feel brighter in the morning.

10 thoughts on “Early Evenings

  1. I have the same thoughts of curiosity about those lamps because I do poorly in the darker colder seasons than any other, but I don’t want to get something that won’t really really really help and will just sit around. If you do ever get one, do a review on here about it?

    As for your doctor appointments and being unable to control how your body acts, that sounds very hard to deal with, so your stress and emotions over it are definitely something that I think makes sense. You don’t want ot have to suffer and just want to be healthy, but getting there takes so long and you are running out of patience and energy. I pray that there will be a turn for the better and that you will be able to thrive and have clearer answers.


  2. My husband and I had gotten a happy lamp as a wedding gift. He has the seasonal depression disorder. After using it quite a bit I would say that it helps as long you’re in the light for an hour or more. I like to sit in the light and do projects. Something else I find that helps is taking vitamin D.


  3. I started taking vitamin D last winter. I’ve just started taking it again, now that it’s getting darker earlier. It did help, I think. I also have a tendency to turn all the lights on at night and it helps me not sit around and mope. I’ve never had a lamp though. Maybe there’s one out there that has some kind of money back if you’re not satisfied in 30 days type of thing?


    • Vitamin D does seem to help me. I’ve been taking it, but haven’t been terribly consistent. Thanks for reminding me. And I’ll look into seeing if I can find a lamp with a money-back guarantee; that’s a good idea!


  4. I don’t know about SAD lamps, but I definitely would recommend finding the right kind of lighting for the evening/early morning. I’m actually extremely irritated by bright light that isn’t from the sun, so for the past couple of yrs I’ve been stringing warm white fairy lights to plug in once the sun goes down (and using dim warm lighting if I need a little bit better visibility, lol).

    Not a scientifically proven solution like a lightbox maybe is(?), but mentally it helps me (aside from trying to exercise/eat right/not isolate). Could just be the adorable aesthetic of fairy lights that alleviates my symptoms, haha

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do love fairy lights. Maybe I’ll break them out early this year – I know of them as “Christmas lights” because that’s the only time I have them up!


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