Tweets of the Week

My Favorite Tweets This Week

Give a man a fish & he'll be like "gifts are not my love language" teach a man to fish and he'll be all "Quality time, yes. How did u know?" — Abam Droud (@AdamBroud) June 5, 2016 Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant —…

Tweets of the Week

My Favorite Tweets This Week

Sure glad this is just written in my comment section…and not the book of life. pic.twitter.com/U8s7CEEno0 — Kevin McCreary (@goodnightkev) December 20, 2016 Me on food network: "I made a purรฉed nut spread w/ a grape relish reduction paired w/ brioche bun" pic.twitter.com/rZFDjISYoL — Akilah Releford (@Akiladahun1) August 11, 2016 i hate when people ask…

Tweets of the Week

My Favorite Tweets This Week

[showing our new baby]WIFE: He has my eyesME: And my noseGIMLI: AND MY AXE!ME (to wife): Honey I thought we agreed, family only — Chimney Spotter (@chimneyspotter) July 5, 2016 Canadian: spell colourAmerican: no u spell colorCanadian: uAmerican: no u — Fro Vo (@fro_vo) February 15, 2016 [court]LAWYER: Did u kill him?ME: NoL: You know…

Tweets of the Week

My Favorite Tweets This Week

I was going to be productive today but then I realized that's not who I really am as a person. — SardonicTart (@SardonicTart) October 2, 2016 My wife's Office christmas party is tomorrow. Iโ€™m going as Pam — dan mentos (@DanMentos) December 18, 2014 I enjoy weather to a certain degree — Steven W Skinner…

Tweets of the Week

My Favorite Tweets This Week

  [mocking jay part 2] jay: come on guys please stop — xmas pigeon (@decentbirthday) November 26, 2015 As a nation we need to face the reality that none of our actors are talented enough to pretend their empty paper coffee cups are full. — MKP๐Ÿ“– (@MKPinNYC) September 29, 2016 being a satanist is like…

Tweets of the Week

My Favorite Tweets This Week

Please be gentle with me I used to be a baby — Legend of Chelda (@legendofchelda) April 4, 2016 it's cool how the members of Anonymous are so good at computer stuff, but also wrote so many great poems and inspirational quotations. — rachel axler (@rachelaxler) May 7, 2014 "Enough is enough Stephanie. I need…